So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
