Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
