What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
