fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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