This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
