We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize