hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
