dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
