well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
