Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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