When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
