it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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