my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have fence marks all over my body
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
