Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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