the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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