pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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