Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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