She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
