I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
