he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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