Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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