More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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