I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
