no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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