yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
