If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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