We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
