I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just cropdusted the office
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
