I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
