I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
