hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
