did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
