There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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