Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
