evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
