Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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