You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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