is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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