I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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