remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
