Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
