The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
