My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He did a backflip because drugs
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