My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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