Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
