finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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