did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize