We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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