i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
