i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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