i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
