So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
