In America we eat man semen.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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