Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
