im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
