I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
