You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i believe in u and ur pee
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