I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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