Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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