if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i think my mom watched the whole time
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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